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The name of case

The Adoption ( USSR )

Being adopted I wasn't recognize that I'm as a men or whatever whom goes by his way just an for minute , not for days or month , without any perspective to recognize the position of future , I take my soul in my own hands . The lucid moments at now , possible 36 years later after birth , are just an some as pictures in mind taking with a felts of childhood , I do not recognize any perspectives between two pictures since I had step into my first house , then second . Just an points , not a good points to start whoever , taking ones I may travel between them . The life goes in two direction - the future , the past , where the past is not nothing as futures seeing into - the retrospective of behavior , where understanding position of all was goes over you and you watching them . As an television program where you must takes ones of understanding them was shown - the words mixed with pictures and with musical accompation . Nothing of it approaching to reality where out the house is cold , winter and darkness . The system build themselves without the mention of yourself as a unit of . The point of no return is where you stand from chair stopping watching television and goes out the building with target of imaginary of yourself as it you want to see . The changes , the less chances - the walking . First step anytime is too hard , when you starting engine of your car is alike of , the much more details goes build between themselves the mechanism of work . Alike the first step of thought your neurons rebuilding the mind logic to take a one of thought being created into reality . The case , the target - the understood that it may been happen . You walk the second step and felt much more power in yourself as motor acceleration of car goes push the power up , then third , four - you goes straight to birth of your thought into reality . In my life the religion is maintain thing I cover myself into , there is non an just praying the god , there some strange leads you to freedom of mind where nobody taking you into blood journey of other side of reality - as evils . Are first step of logic of mind , then goes physic reaction - between them creates the felt where you covers into and make your changes into your imaginary , taking true or false way .

Whatever this is road as an start and end .

Stepping into my first home , seeing the some depravity where all felts of humanity are being so stable and close to an depression I make my exchange of my logic and going to build the ways of . The first step anytime caused by your roots as an parents takes you on a true way . My way is non much more than wishes of being adopted me by strange woman and strange men , where the I'm associated with ways of their future . There no side of understanding , there's no ways how I recognize them month or two after . The strange feels cover my mind from start at morning to end at night . The scares things , the fears comes with attention of my physics where told that I must leave house . Last days or weeks into house goes too hard to understood , I searching answers into them , but their thought's comes to reality with case of traveling to new home , new 'strange woman' and new 'strange man' / The reality . over hundred dollars are was they getting for sell me to new home , I remember that this man I traveling with said this at night flight . The other aspects whom he said is non needed to rephrase . The flight I named later 'the other side - is own side' . The steps .

The other side .

You need to go with them . Sure . The mind disabled in one moment - the darknest , the cold , the winter , the strange peoples approaching me . They walking over me and talk some strange that I can not understand , seeing on me with the red eyes whom covers some very bad into their souls . The road is not starts , the mind is disabled - the walking over homes men by men taking myself asks 'are who you' , did you remember - I do not . You strange , you too . Legs goes disabling , walking over one home I goes into underfloor to save myself from cold . true to be said , that doses of medicaments are starts injected to me from I leave first home , after I arrive they had put in me doses of heroin , where I may save myself from coldest winter , - the mixed heroin with the first medicament was being truly badly on my mean . - The freezing . The life under artificial reality is some of kind as a man traveling to space , as is it I goes into country where I life now . My steps as a thought how first are leave country , and my first step are all time being corrupt , caused by medicaments since I'm arrive . - The disabled man as official , the man where all coins are stealed from , are corruption . The man whom not stepped the first step to leave forwarding back on side of his imaginary with couple memorized aspects . Let's step . From last into past .

Where the last step contain himself ? Into thought where all your feels deeply appears on your imaginary into reality - alike how you want to seen it is .

Need just an these one lucid moments , alike pictures whom memorized into you forever , creates to you a some stable from your memory to take that one rebuild you again . Alike feel of love , feel of pain - the two different elements whom create the power of machines mechanism pushing power into . From these two elements starts all existence . And my love contain the blessing of my soul , the pain contain some strange felt that may struggling you in all situations of fears where I being starts . How it can exchanged on my way , is that only the possibility to take your life into your own hand - that I may named it . The step back is a maintain step in any direction you goes , alike rules whom created with you goes aside with them . Step back opens the recognized position of that you open your soul to reality where somebody always see you , feel you , and blow you sometimes . Back and step forward , then go over this what reality showing you , and don't lose to get on shower if your way ends .

The two steps .

Are you steal life's too?